he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
