You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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