Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize