wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
