And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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