Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
