You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
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