she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
