You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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