how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
