I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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