Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
