We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
