It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
