your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
