Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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