What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
