I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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