You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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