Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
