I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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