i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
