Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
