last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize