Someone shit on the floor
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
