i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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