So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
