what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
His nipple licking is glorious
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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