He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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