Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
