i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
