Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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