It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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