I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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