How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
