ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Randomize
