i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize