I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
