But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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