I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
