He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
