I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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