It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
