i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
