? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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