I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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