Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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