I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
