He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You took a bar mat shot.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
