so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
