am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
