I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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