Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize