He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
