you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Let's get the cat blown out
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
