you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
