Me too!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Holy sore nipples Batman
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
