you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
