batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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