Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
