you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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