how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
