Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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