using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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