I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize