"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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