yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
