forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
