i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
