I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
