My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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