You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
